Jun 22, 2010
Ooooh, trippy. What got into the Kool-Aid over at Marvel HQ? We may never know. Sometimes I think that they sit in the warehouse huffing ink off the pages of never-opened Micronauts back-issues. I see no other way to explain their repeated attempts to breathe new life into characters like the Purple Man or the continued existence of terrible titles like Wolverine: Origins. That said, let’s see if I can’t give them my money for some funny books this week. But they know I have my eye on them. You, too, DC, I’m watching you.
As you may have gathered by reading the print on the above fuzzy Iron Man black-light poster, Avengers #2 is out this week. Marvel is running at least three or four Avengers titles right now…wait, make that five or six. Seven? The shit is ridiculous. Nonetheless, I’m reading most of them. This particular book hosts, I think, the team headed by Steve Rogers (as opposed to the Luke-Cage-helmed new New Avengers). I can’t be bothered to confirm it—if I did that level of fact-checking research, what kind of blog would this be? To paraphrase the great Steve Martin, I prefer to criticize things I don’t know about.
Also available tomorrow is Ultimate Comics Avengers 2 #4. Say that five times fast! No, on second thought, don’t give those bastards the satisfaction. That’s just what they’d want you to do. Stupid Mark Millar and his stumblesome titling. Here we have yet another version of the Avengers, one that exists in an alternate universe. Maybe the same universe as that velvet Iron Man painting, I don’t know. It’s a big dumb action thing, this book, but I like the drawings. Perhaps that’s like saying you read Playboy for the articles, which is obviously a lie—nobody reads Playboy at all anymore. But I can’t really say I read Ultimate Comics Avengers 2 for the black-stereotype Hulk with the four-finger name-ring, either. Hmmm. Why do I read this book, again?
Over in the DC Universe, big things are afoot for the flagship titles. Superman #700 is not a book I plan on buying, since it’s one of those overstuffed, overpriced, multi-creator mish-mash retrospective jobbies. But it does feature a story by J. Michael Straczynski, who is all set to take over the title with issue 701. Straczynski is definitely capable of doing justice to the Big Blue mythology, so let’s hope his run on Superman is as successful as his earlier work with much-loved characters like Spider-Man.
In the other biggest corner of DC’s world (or should I say worlds?), Bruce Wayne is time-hopping his way back to, presumably, being Batman again. Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne #3 finds Master Wayne getting his swashbuckle on, because, you know, everyone loves pirates! I suppose he’ll be shooting it out with Jesse James in the wild, wild West and busting Al Capone for tax evasion in Prohibition-era Chicago soon enough. Since I’m a pretty big fantasy nerd, time-travelling Batman doesn’t bother me as much as it might, say, a sane person. You won’t find me L.A.R.P.-ing or rolling 2d20 any time soon, but you also won’t find me passing up a chance to read about Batman-plus-swords. Yeah, I said it. I ain’t never scared.
OK, chums, I think that’s it for now. Enjoy your summer, try to get some fresh air (even if you have to L.A.R.P. to do it), and, as always…
Keep it bagged and boarded,