New Grip. This year belongs to the Rec.

Grip Grand — Champainful (I Can Do Anything)

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Hit that second link for the lyrics, too. And we do accept donations. Alright, then.

Already aware that I misquoted the Reading Rainbow theme in my hook,

Grip Grand

 

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

This just happened. Poppin’ Pockets was on The Today Show this morning. Listen close, one minute in. I’m the Matt Lauer of rap.

Overjoyed,

Grip Grand

Chap Hazard, World Citizen

My good friend and business associate Chapel “Chap” Hazard is something of a living legend. One of those rare individuals who sucks the air out of a room and replaces it with the sweet, burning smell of sexy adventure, Chap is a person of interest in every sense of the word. Wanted for questioning in seventeen countries, a guest at the palace of a dozen others, Chap Hazard is a man’s man’s man with the heart of a child. Women want him, lions fear him, angels use his urine to make gunpowder for God. His potency is unrivaled, his hubris unequaled. He has never known doubt or fear. He can’t even spell them. Someday, he will conquer the world. Or stumble blindly off a cliff. Or, spectacularly, do both at once.

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