Idiot Proof: The Chap Hazard Saga

Chap Hazard, World Citizen

My good friend and business associate Chapel “Chap” Hazard is something of a living legend. One of those rare individuals who sucks the air out of a room and replaces it with the sweet, burning smell of sexy adventure, Chap is a person of interest in every sense of the word. Wanted for questioning in seventeen countries, a guest at the palace of a dozen others, Chap Hazard is a man’s man’s man with the heart of a child. Women want him, lions fear him, angels use his urine to make gunpowder for God. His potency is unrivaled, his hubris unequaled. He has never known doubt or fear. He can’t even spell them. Someday, he will conquer the world. Or stumble blindly off a cliff. Or, spectacularly, do both at once.

Long story short, Chap’s daily planner looks like Evel Knievel’s bucket list, and he’s agreed to send me reports from the frontlines of his life on a regular basis. This oughta be a real treat.

Last week Chap bought a pre-paid phone in Kuala Lumpur and called me from the Hilton, poolside, where he was working on his tan and waiting, in his words, “to see a guy about some knives.” He told me that his first dispatch would be in soon, but now he had to go, and he was going to throw his phone off the roof “for security purposes.” The last sound I heard was the wind whistling through the earpiece, then the line went dead.

Stay tuned for Chap’s next report, and follow him on Twitter.


Grip Grand

Category: Creative Non-Fiction and Non-Creative Fiction, Grip Life


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